


blink back to let me know (always)

by unserene



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, M/M, tbh thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unserene/pseuds/unserene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoongi knew something was wrong when Jimin wanted to see him in the park.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blink back to let me know (always)

Yoongi knew something was wrong when Park Jimin wanted to see him in the park. Groaning and rubbing his eyes, he glanced at the vague text on his phone. He slipped on his shoes and grabbed the jacket that hung from the foot of his bed. _00:09_  blinked back at him from his clock on the nightstand as he shucked on his jeans and unlatched his window, silently sliding it up. A cool June breeze whispered in his ears, persuading him to step into the milky twilight of a summer night.

Yoongi quickly climbed out of his window and onto the tree whose branches hung in front of his window. He dropped onto his feet and began hiking toward the park that laid at the end of his street. He kept an eye on his phone, waiting for another text from Jimin possibly explaining why he wanted him to come out in the middle of the night.

_At least it’s summer, and not the middle of winter,_ Yoongi tried to think positively. The thought backfired a bit when the grogginess that still hung in his subconscious moaned. His eyes scanned the park, searching for Jimin’s dark head of hair, as he crossed onto the park grounds.

He found Jimin almost instantaneously, his tanned limbs splayed across the blanket he brought to the park. The boy’s eyes gazed up at the stars that only just shone upon the surface of the earth. Yoongi startled when his stare fixed upon him. The usual light that glistened in his eyes dimmed like the stars that dimly glimmered above their heads.

Carefully placing himself next to his friend, Yoongi laid back and stared at the stars. He tried to ignore the way Jimin eyed him lethargically. Despite his stare, Yoongi had no idea why Jimin had even texted him to come out, especially in the middle of the night. Why he didn’t say anything as Yoongi approached him.

A few moments passed before Jimin said anything. “Hyung, do you think people ever die of loneliness?”

Yoongi sat up and gave Jimin a strange look. “What?”

But Jimin wouldn’t respond, looking up expectantly at Yoongi as if waiting for an answer.

“..I don’t.. think so..” He murmured, worry gnawing at his heels like a hungry dog.

Jimin stared for a second more before shifting his eye back upon the stars. A few clouds began to meander across the moon, darkening the world just a bit. The cool breeze that had softly spoken into Yoongi’s ears suddenly began to have a bit of a bite to it, brushing past the two figures in the park.

“I think it does,” Jimin responded faintly. Silence swept between the two boys once again, calm and chilling. It contrasted the worry that began to creep up Yoongi’s spine for the younger boy in front of him.

“Jimin,” Yoongi began as he lowered himself onto his back again, “What brought this on?” He could feel that he wasn’t being as tough on Jimin as he usually was. He couldn’t tell if it was because it was midnight and he was tired or if it was something else that Yoongi was too afraid to address.

After no response was elicited from Jimin, Yoongi tried again. “What happened to strong Jimin-”

Jimin looked at Yoongi with a painfully forced smile and slightly teary eyes. “I’m never strong, Yoongi-hyung, please don’t feed that bullshit to me.”

Yoongi’s mouth was left hanging slightly open. His eyebrows raised a bit in shock as he watched Jimin try to hold his gaze for a bit longer. His jaw dropped a bit lower as he watched Jimin unravel in front of him, the tightly wound boy finally coming undone.

“I’m never strong, Yoongi-hyung, I’ve never been. I’m so sick of feeling this way. I’m sick of being with all of you, laughing and smiling, but feeling so fucking _alone_ at the same time. I’m sick of being so weak. I’m sick of crying so easily whenever someone says something even a bit offensive. I’m sick of trying to act like it meant nothing when really, it meant everything. It meant a lot.” Jimin spat, trying to keep his volume down and running his fingers through his hair. “I’m so tired of feeling trapped here. I’m tired of being called ugly and fat by all of you. I’m tired of sitting in one of my classes, feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest whenever the teacher calls on me to answer a simple question. I’m sick of feeling this way.”

Yoongi’s heart was about to burst, opening his mouth to defend himself, when Jimin went on. “I’m done with wanting to lay in bed all day, not moving or doing anything. I hate feeling bad and unworthy when someone makes eye contact with me and smiles like I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Jimin..” Yoongi started, reaching for his shoulder, “What are you doing wrong? You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Yes, I _am!_ ” He sobbed, wiping the tears that began to dribble down his cheeks with his sleeve. “Usually it doesn’t get to me until I get home, but now it’s just eating away at me! I’ll be in first period with Seokjin and it just _hits_ and I have to force myself to fucking smile so he doesn’t get worried and ask what’s wrong because I don’t want anyone to worry about me. God, I don’t want anyone to worry about me.”

Jimin paused, hiccuping a bit. “Now you’re going to worry. Now you’re probably asking yourself why I even called you out here when all I’m doing is yelling at you for problems that aren’t yours. I just need advice, hyung.” He wiped his tears again, breaking their gaze to look at a tree in the distance instead.

Yoongi gently wrapped his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Yeah, anything, anything.”

“Is it even worth it?” He murmured, resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Is it even worth living when I feel like this every day?”

He swallowed, pulling Jimin closer to himself as he thought about the answer he was going to give. “Yeah. You’re not a waste of space, Jimin. You’re here for a reason. You mean a lot to someone.” Yoongi hummed, “You mean a lot to me. And everyone else. I know being lonely is such a shitty feeling. But you’re strong, kid. I believe in you.”

Jimin and Yoongi sat silently again, Jimin sniffling. “Don’t call me kid, hyung, you’re only two years older than me.”

“Kid.”

“Stop!” Jimin laughed, hitting Yoongi in the side. They both laughed for a few minutes, Jimin speaking again when their laughter died down. “Thanks.. uh, for the words of encouragement. I never knew you or any of the other guys actually felt that way.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I’m sorry for yelling. And making you come out here at like, midnight.”

“It’s fine, Jimin, it was important. I’m glad I came.” Yoongi said, smiling slightly at his smaller counterpart. “Why the hell were you in the park anyway?”

Jimin shrugged, gazing around at the trees that surrounded the perimeter of the park. “I like coming out here in the middle of the night and looking around.”

“It’s kind of cold. I think you should come home with me.” He shivered, lifting Jimin up with him and gathering the blanket. Yoongi almost screamed when he felt the world disappear from under his feet. Jimin snickered when he saw Yoongi’s surprised face when he carried him in his arms.

“What, hyung? I thought you liked being treated like a king?” Jimin taunted, earning a hit on the head from Yoongi.

“Just carry me, you brat.”

**Author's Note:**

> well that escalated quickly
> 
>  
> 
> the last chapter of oranges and art students is cominG I PROMSIE JUST SCHOOL IS HAPPENING


End file.
